11. London

Who would have thought that an English Breakfast in most cafes and restaurants includes 'turkey' bacon? This is a fact! The English breakfast will soon be no more. It is dying a slow death as pork products have been surreptitiously replaced with substitutes. Sure, we endure turkey or beef 'bacon' when we are visiting Malaysia, where we do not expect to see pork bacon, but in England? Perhaps the cafes need to drop the word 'English' from their breakfast menus. Yes, we eventually did find a traditional English Breakfast after a long walk and an in-depth interview with the proprietor of a breakfast establishment.

But apart from that, I love visiting London. Despite its current political and social problems, it's still a vibrant city in which tradition still outpaces any attempt to wokeify it. I love it that Christmas is already in full swing especially in the department stores in Piccadilly and Oxford St. I am sorry I will not be here when the Christmas lights (which have been erected) will be formally lit.

We are here for five days, which includes meeting up with Natasha and a visit to a special exhibition. Traditional Sunday Roasts are offered at many English pubs across the city, so we meet Natasha in Kentish Town at 2 o'clock on Sunday afternoon. We walk to the huge and beautiful Hampstead Heath, where Natasha's dog, Milo decides to take a dip in the lake - twice. He certainly loves taking a swim even though the weather today is cold and grey. We watch the dog playing in the water for a while before walking back to the main street and to the pub where Natasha has made a booking. I know from previous experience that the roasts are way too big and after perusing the menu that does not have a kid-sized roast meal, I opt for the other British staple - Fish 'n Chips.

I meet my brother, Martin at Victoria Station and together we walk towards Buckingham Palace. We have plenty of time up our sleeve so we stop for coffee at a builder's cafe on the way. We have tickets to see the Queen's Frocks, which are currently on display at the King's Gallery. The Queen's Christening gown, wedding dress, and Coronation dress are probably the most notable clothes on display, but this exhibition also includes the Liberty print cotton dresses that Queen Elizabeth and Princess Margaret wore as children. It was amazing to see how ordinary their clothes were. We were treated to the uniforms worn by Elizabeth during her time with the Auxiliary Territorial Service (ATS), the women's branch of the British Army. The clothes she wore on international tours, some jewels and many of her handbags and shoes are on show. We are also treated to a short talk by one of the staff in regard to the Queen's wartime service, which is very interesting.

Our visit to the exhibition is followed by a lengthy visit to the Buckingham Palace shop before we set off through the park to Piccadilly, where the Fortnum and Mason is already decorated for Christmas. There is nothing more 'English' than Fortnum and Mason and we have purposely not had lunch before arriving at the iconic store. The restaurant on the ground floor has disappeared and has been replaced with a Biscuitorium, which is a department dedicated to Fortnum and Mason's extensive biscuit collection. There is a very old-fashioned lift in the store and the thought of climbing up the sweeping staircase to the fifth floor for lunch is not appealing at all. We arrive at the restaurant in the Penthouse Suite only to find that it is dedicated to High Tea only and that we have to go down to the third floor for coffee and a light snack. The stairs this time! The traipsing up and down the store not only good exercise but provides a quick overview of where everything is placed. We sit down to a coffee and I choose Welsh Rarebit for lunch. To tell you the truth, I only wanted to come to this store for this particular lunch. Yes, I know it is merely cheese on toast, but there is another ingredient that adds a 'bite' to the flavour. Sated, we resume our perusal of the store and we both leave with bags of goodies.

Tom and I spend a day with Natasha, first visiting her at home then later going to Dulwich Village for a light lunch. We have a lovely day and use public transport, both the underground and the bus, to reach our destinations. It is a lovely day and although we have just one day left before our next destination, we have little planned.

After the breakfast fiasco on our last day in London, we decide to walk off our frustration by returning to Oxford Street for a little bit of retail therapy. Keeping in mind that we have to keep our suitcases below 20kg for our next destination, our shopping spree is curtailed. I say that with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek. The cost of everything is horrendous so too much shopping is not on the agenda. As Tom returns to the hotel we are staying at, I take the tube to the Victoria and Albert Museum for a quick look. I know... I know... There is no such thing as a quick look at the V&A. I did, however, take the tube from Russell Square to South Kensington station, from where a tunnel leads directly into the museum. I spend some time looking at one or two of the exhibits before checking out the V&A shop. Oh my goodness, this is probably more interesting than the departments of the museum I have just viewed. This would be the best museum shop I have ever seen. I return the same way, via the tunnel to Russell Square and upon emerging from below the ground, I realise that it has been raining all afternoon.

In closing this chapter of my trip, I need to mention that our accommodation is diabolical. A studio apartment that looks OK on Booking.com, the reality is that we have a miniature apartment up a steep and narrow set of stairs. If I had known then what I know now, I probably would have requested a ground floor apartment. The building itself is beautiful, a semi-circular array of terraced houses, our 'balcony' studio is actually a wrought iron fence around a window that faces the street. It is quiet here with a park directly opposite. The bed is against the wall, and we are lucky the suitcases fit in the wardrobe. There are two folding chairs and a folding table in the wardrobe but there is no room to actually unfold them. Then there is the kitchen sink, which is located in a corner and almost impossible to reach to washClick Me dishes. To be honest, a Premier Inn with a fridge and included breakfast may have suited us better. It might have been slightly larger. But I must tell you about the park.

Cartwright Gardens are usually locked and not available to the people staying at Studios2Let as the park is really only to be used by the local residents, who have a key. On the far corner of the park, just opposite our teeny-tiny room is a small red brick building. As Tom looks out the window in the morning, he is surprised to see a skinny woman place a piece of cardboard under the locked gate nearest the corner. Laying on the ground, head sideways on the cardboard, the lady wriggles under the gate then disappears behind the small red brick building. It is something Tom has never seen before. We don't know where she went after that, but the following day, the black door of the small red brick building has been tagged in bright yellow paint. I am not saying that the skinny woman did that, but it is suspicious!

We are ready to leave London and tomorrow at six o'clock in the morning, a taxi will collect us to take us to the airport. We are off to County Clare, Ireland for a few days.